where do we go from here?

where do we go from here? probably the page that i was most proud of when i finished it, and it happened as an accident. this is a picture of jerry and me at the park recently on a sunday afternoon w/ my family. i had printed the picture out on a tranparency in the inkjet printer and transferred it to the page. i wasn't really happy w/ that total image, though, as it wasn't very dark where our faces were and it was hard to "see" us. i had several prints made from this picture, and i happened to have some w/ me. i thought to use a 4 x 6 print in the middle of the picture -- knowing it wouldn't "fit" properly but hoping it would look like it had been pulled out of the picture. the size of the picture just didn't work for me, so i decided to try one of the wallets that i had in my bag. amazingly, the wallet fit perfectly against the transfer. i couldn't have done that if i had tried it on 17 different attempts, but accidentally i ended up w/ a page that fit perfectly together! h-m-m-m, is that an omen?

writing was done w/ a fine point sharpie marker, background was inkjet transparency transfer, and wallet-sized photo ordered online from walmart.com.

promise of a new day

inspired from someone else's posted journal entry on one of the groups i belong to -- sorry, i can't remember now who it was, but i was so impressed that i made it my desktop picture for several days. of course, mine is not near as good as that one -- but it made me try something new. i changed the wording some, but the thought is still the same.

writing is done w/ a fine point sharpie marker and background picture drawn w/ prang colored pencils. sprayed w/ matte finish to seal the page.

blur

as our relationship became stronger, the lines that separated our lives began to blur so that it was more difficult to tell what was him/his and what was me/mine. we started planning a future for US and not just for ourselves.

the background is WORD wordart w/ the large BLUR written over the top, printed on a transparency w/ an inkjet printer and transferred to the paper. then i took a sharpie marker and traced over the large BLUR to make it stand out more.

point of view and attitude

these are some words that i feel are important in building and maintaining a relationship. i found quotes that i liked and some words that i felt were positive and just started building the page. i used 4 colors, w/ the main color on one word being the accent color on the previous word to tie the page together.

all writing and drawing done w/ fine point sharpie markers.

just words and more words

i was at a loss of what to write about, so i decided to write about words. words come easily for me, but that is not true for jerry. sometimes he has a hard time expressing how he feels or what he wants. these letters of WORDS are cut from different emails that i have sent to jerry over time. the W is from my profile on match.com, the O is from a fun email where i wrote "i love you" in very big letters w/ each letter made of it's own letters, the R was taken from an email where i was thanking for all that he does for me b/c he recently went thru a spell where he felt unappreciated, the D was taken from his "90 day evaluation" as a relationship partner, and the S was just taken from an email telling him how much i wanted to see him and how special he was to me. the left side of the page reading down are "words about me" and on the right side are "words about him".

writing done w/ black sharpie marker.

some different words on my mind

some different words on my mind after being involved in the relationship for quite some time. not nearly so guarded and/or scared and feeling much more secure.

All drawing and writing done w/ gel ink pens and/or fine point sharpie markers.

believe

another worthless time spent in faculty meeting that i dedicated to my journal that i'm making for jerry. i knew before the faculty meeting that i would be working on this, so i looked up some synonyms for the word "believe" to work them into a picture about the word. i strongly believe that a person can do anything that he or she determines IF the decision is made to accomplish this goal. but, the problem is that a relationship involves 2 people, and BOTH people must make this commitment.

all writing and drawing are done w/ gel ink pen.

george strait - i cross my heart

george strait is jerry's favorite singer, and this is one of the songs that jerry likes -- i cross my heart. he thinks that this songs applies to us very well in the type of relationship that we want and are willing to work for.

the LOVE and outline of flowers are done w/ "dotta-riffic" markers. the coloring and the writing are done w/ prang colored pencils. the page was sprayed w/ matte finish to seal.

branson - a couple days away

we took a trip to branson for a day and a half out of town and away from the family struggles that we've been dealing w/ for enought time now w/o a break. we stayed at the clarion and had a wonderful time away from the stress for a while.

the writing is an ink gel pen..
the picture is done w/ an inkjet transparency transfer and sprayed w/ matte finish to seal the page.

summer - my favorite time of year

i think it was nicolette who posted a drawing similar (but much better) to this one. i was particularly drawn to it b/c my daughter's name is summer. my students were doing an assignment for art to see how closely they could recreate something, so i used the word "summer" in this drawing to try and recreate. i was happy w/ the picture overall, but i liked the other one better. this picture will be a good keepsake, though, as we had so many fun summertime memories together as we were dating.

i used the prang colored pencils on this picture.

jerry - on top of the world

jerry was on top of the world at this point -- he had a new grandson who was happy and healthy and he had a new relationship w/ someone who treated him like he was really special. he was just wallowing in all the attention and love that he was getting. i started giving him a hard time about thinking he was the king of the world -- and that's how i came up w/ this spread.

the writing is done w/ gel ink pen and the drawing is done w/ prang colored pencils and sprayed w/ matte finish to seal.

jerry's new car

we're breaking in jerry's new company car this week, and he's very proud of it -- 2005 chevy impala. it's definitely more roomy than the lumina that he had previously! we had little jimmie again for the evening w/ us b/c everyone wanted to be at the hospital w/ little joey. we spent the evening together, went out to dinner, and then just drove around looking over the spring countryside and discovering what everyone was doing. it was a wonderful evening in the car, w/ jimmie sound asleep in the back the whole time.

writing in gel ink pen and artwork made from inkjet transparency transfer and sprayed w/ matte finish to seal.

stork delivery - joey

little joey's arrival on the planet brought us some different plans for this day. we dropped what we were doing to go to the hospital to try and see him and we kept little jimmie all day, too. amazing how an event like this puts life in perspective.

writing in gel in and drawing w/ prang colored pencils and sprayed w/ matte finish to seal.

hotel (work) protection

another journal entry/event from working at the hotel. we have our gold award for service, and much of it is based on the personality of the staff. this looks really good on us. anyway, jerry came to see me at work one night b/c we really didn't have time to see each other that weekend if he didn't come over. he came over and we spent about 3 hours together. the most pressing reason that he was there that night was that it was graduation night -- a good night for me to have to deal w/ drunks and problems. he didn't want me there alone where i might possibly be in danger, so he came there and stayed the night -- hanging around the lobby until everyone was down for the night and then went to his car to nap until i got off work.

the writing is gel ink pen and the gold seal is an inkjet transparency transfer sprayed w/ matte finish to seal.

the "F" word

another "alphabet page" using the drop case lettering and the floral display up the side. we joked about the different words that were important to us, and we had several "f words" so i made a page about these.

all writing and drawing done w/ gel ink pens.

something to do

i just needed something to do one day during detention and this is the result. i use this "flowers" on a lot of pages to take up space or make a border of something. i'm not sure how he'll feel about having his name plastered on a page of flowers, but i thought the overall page looked good.

The drawing and lettering was all done w/ prang colored pencils.

the future

the future was looking fairly fuzzy and unsure at this point. jerry and i were having issues, based on the behavior and attitude of his son. the plans that we were making together were now being made by him. i wasn't happy in this situation, but i understood what was happening. we ended up putting our relationship back to the dating phase while jerry had time to sort out his family situation. this has since gone much better (this pic was drawn out of sequence but compared well w/ the picture before it to show how different things can be) and we're planning to get married in the late spring or early summer, which is when i agreed to marry in the first place.

the writing and drawing are done w/ prang colored pencils. i used a tissue to smudge the writing to make it look blurry, like the future looked at this point.

holding his heart in my hands

i realized at this point that i had the power to hold jerry's heart in my hands and that my thoughts and feelings had a tremendous impact on his future. also, tracing around my hand or my granddaughter's (raven) hand is something that we do in church to help keep her entertained.

the writing here is in gel ink pen and the drawings are done w/ prang colored pencils. instead of tracing my hands palm-down, i traced them palm-up so it would look like i had my hands together and cupping something of importance.

love survives

love survives poem that i saw posted on the internet, but no author was listed. i didn't write this, but i don't know who did. anyway, i liked the poem and thought that everything always looks better w/ the dawning of a new day. that's how i came up w/ the background art, which is an inkjet printed picture done on a transparency and transferred to the page. i used the red gel ink pen b/c i wanted the writing to stand our from the poem, but i don't really care for the starkness of the red on that background. i wish i had used black or brown ink or something less striking.

the "P" word

again, a new letter of the alphabet. we've reached a point in our relationship where we're making promises for the future. these promises have a serious impact on where this relationship may be going and what we might be doing in life.

all writing and drawing done w/ gel ink pens.

the top of the hill

we spent so much time at the park in our early relationship, but this particular day "our" park was just crawling w/ kids and families. we picked up dinner and went to another park and picnicked under the big tree on top of the hill. it was a wonderful spring afternoon. the weather was perfect and the company was great.

writing in gel ink pen and drawing done w/ prang colored pencils.

marriage is a dance

obviously the topic of marriage was on my mind here and i was thinking of what a future together w/ jerry would be like. i was looking up quotes for a dance theme and came across this quote. i thought it was amazingly fitting and had fun trying to put a dance pattern together to highlight the quote and the meaning.

all drawing and writing were done w/ gel ink pens.

the "M" word

we had only been in each other's physical presence about 8 times when jerry asked me to marry him. i was very surprised that he knew his feelings so quickly, but i was also fairly sure of mine, too. i told him that i would love to marry him, but not until next summer after his son turned 18 and graduated high school. i was so caught off-guard w/ this possible turn in our relationship and the permanency implied that i wrote and dres on this page.

all writing and drawings done w/ gel ink pens. obviously i'm intrigued and impressed w/ the medieval texts that have the drop case letter and vinery and pictures on the page w/ the writing.

treasure map

the quote written at the side "my love for you is a journey, starting at forever and ending at never." is what inspired this page. when i read it, i was reminded of a treasure map w/ a big X that marks the spot of the treasure. i thought of how we're all searching for something in life and how we are all hoping to find that special something we're seeking.

the drawing was done w/ prang colored pencils and sprayed w/ matte finish to keep the colors from smearing or rubbing off.

family

now is the time where family starts to become a real issue -- his family. my family was very supportive of our relationship and liked jerry very much. his family, although they claimed to like me, didn't want dad to move on and have a relationship. especially the youngest and oldest sons were more interested in letting dad just stagnate at home and sit there waiting on them to make an appearance in his life. when this didn't happen, they started to get totally out of control and the youngest one just made our lives a living hell for almost 2 months.

writing and drawing all done w/ gel ink pens.

time

time -- this had become an issue for us. we had raised our families different (very different) and his family was beginning to have issues w/ the fact that dad had a relationship and was moving on w/ his life. they were welcomed to be a part of the change and move along w/ us in a relationship, but they chose not to. i was very disappointed that it had to be this way, but i'm not living my life to please them.

drawing and writing were all done w/ gel ink pens.

a vist at work

jerry came to see me at work one night, as i work the front desk at the comfort inn hotel. i do all the night paperwork and credit card transactions/deposits. i'm free to stand and talk as i work, though.

the writing was done first, and then i used a inkjet printer to print a picture of the hotel and the words on a transparency NOT made for inkjets. i reversed the image so that when i put the wet ink down in the paper to rub it off the words and hotel would be facing the right direction. then while the ink was still wet, i gently put the transparency ink-side down on the paper, held steady, and burnished (rubbed) w/ the side of my hand to transfer the ink picture onto the page.

trust

this page will just something that i did during a faculty meeting. the word "trust" is done w/ large sharpie markers, just dotted in a flowing pattern. the writing is w a sharpie marker on the first line and then a gel ink pen on the rest.

flowers on a rough day

one night when jerry and i met at the park to have dinner, i was sitting at a picnic table w/ my head down and asleep b/c of the horrible night i had at work the night before. i had worked the night shift and then gone straight to school to teach. i had an email from him in the morning, and i had responded later -- letting him know that i could meet for a short while but that i was tired and had a horrid night. when he arrived, he had dinner and flowers for me.

writing in fine point roller ball ink pen w/ flowers drawn in prang colored pencil and sprayed w/ matte finish.

comtemplating love

i was contemplating whether i wanted to deal w/ love and worked ont this spread. i also wanted to spend some time working w/ shading the prang colored pencils, so that's why the coloring is done this way. i was happy w/ the outcome, but that's because i'm an amatuer, i'm sure!

dream

i didn't really have any idea of where this was headed when i started this page, so i was rather pleasantly surprised with it when i got done. i wasn't happy w/ the color coverage on it, though. i used gel ink pens and i don't feel that they covered all that area very well.

relax at the park

relaxing at the part is what we spent most of our time doing when we were first dating. we both had children who still lived at home, so to get any privacy we had to go somewhere else. i didn't want to spend my time going to movies, so we spent our time at the park, talking and getting to know each other better.

"relax" and curlies done w/ gel ink pen. park sign done w/ prang colored pencils.

"you are always on my mind"

"you are always on my mind" was playing on the radio when i pulled out my book to draw/write, so that was the inspiration for this page. i was able to just use stream of consciousness as i was writing and write whatever came to mind.

used gel ink pens.

mixed feelings about relationships

these words display some mixed feelings i had about getting involved in a relationship. my life was pretty full at the time and i didn't want to deal w/ a lot of relationship issues just to have a relationship.

done w/ gel ink pens.

the "L" word - part 2

all of my thoughts and feelings about the L word wouldn't all fit on one page and i already had the previous page decorated, so i kept on writing until i finished what i had to say. to tie the 2 pages together, i drew the "love" word w/ the same style viney border as the previous page.

done w/ gel ink pens.

the "L" word

when the topic of love came up, this is the page and drawing that came about because of it. it was a significant step in our relationship and i felt that a special page should be done for it -- i just didn't know what to do!

the drawing is done w/ gel ink roller ball click pens from wal-mart.

questions

question marks drawn to emphasize the journal entry questioning where this is going and what i want. i used prang colored pencils that seem to have a "heavy" feel, almost as if they have an oil base to them. i haven't been able to find them on places like dick blick or hobby lobby or michaels, so i'm not really sure what they're made from.

major turning of attitude

after we had dated for a while, probably about 4 weeks, i began to have a change in attitude about the whole dating thing. when i first headed into this situation, i was just looking to meet a neat person to spend some time with and go to things with. i wasn't intending to meet someone who would make me reconsider what i thought i wanted in life or where i thought my life was going, but that's what happened. it was easier for me to write things down and think about them than it was to try and talk about them at the time. so, here is where i decided that this relationship was important to me.

i used a gel ink pen for the writing and lettering and the prang colored pencils for the sign in the background.

touching

this page came about because of a comment that jerry had made in previous chats or emails or posted on his profile -- that he was looking for someone who was interested in something like "holding hands as we walk into Wal-Mart." i'm very "personal space" conscious, and i don't like people i don't know and/or don't like to be touching me. but i easily touch people who i know and love -- like my friends/family/children. i am very comfortable w/ that, but i just don't like to be crowded or touched by people that i'm not comfortable with. at first, jerry thought that i would be very hard to get to know b/c i was not a very "touchy type person" but he later realized he was very wrong!

done w/ gel roller ball ink pen.

sleep!

this page started out as just a way to keep from falling asleep. i was sitting in a meeting, too warm and too tired, thinking how nice it would be to just take a nap. the schedule that i work (full-time plus 32 hrs at another job) keeps me fairly worn out all the time. then i have family obligations and job obligations after that. to start a relationship is going to take up more of the time that i really don't have, but i just wanted the chance to have some "fun time" w/ someone whose company i enjoyed. so i drew and embellished the word "sleep" and then wrote my thoughts and feelings around it where there was space.

done w/ blue roller ball pen.

goals

we both had some goals to meet and we were talking one night about what would help us to meet those goals. i wrote about our conversation and made a reference to monkey-ing around -- so that's how i came up w/ this spread. originally i drew the picture of the monkey's face on the page and one of my students said, "oh that's too bare. you need to add something around him." so i ended up filling up the whole page and was much happier w/ the picture after that.

done w/ prang colored pencils and sprayed w/ matte finish to keep colors from wiping off.

some words on my mind

this page was done just about 2 weeks after we started seeing each other and contains some words and images that were on my mind at the time. i felt like i knew him fairly well, but we hadn't spent my time together in person. that seemed like such a weird thing at the time, but seems totally natural now.

done w/ combination of pens, but mostly gel ink pens (sakura maybe?).

new project for a new relationship

i started a new relationship this year and decided to start a journal to keep up with how it was going. shortly after this decision, i decided to actually make the journal for him as a keepsake. we met online, thru match.com, so chat and email were a very big part of getting to know each other for us. we started chatting in january, but we didn't go out on a date until march 25. the neat thing about meeting this way is that we had plenty of time to talk and ask questions w/o the pressures associated w/ meeting in person. we've had a great time in our relationship, but it is fun to look back at these early pages to see what was on my mind at the time.

page done w/ gel ink pens purchased in a 5 pack at wal-mart. click tops. gel write very dark and flows very freely, but writes oh-so-smooth.